Beyond Pain: The Power of Focus

Remember, as children, whenever we fell down and started crying, our parents, or sometimes anybody around us, would try to distract us. They would draw our attention towards something else, something more interesting,even gave us chocolate

so that the feeling of pain would subside, we would forget what had happened, and eventually move on.

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But did the pain disappear? No. The pain of the wound, or the pain of falling down, was still there. It simply got overshadowed by another joy, another experience, or another distraction.

After so many years, I have come to realise that the same phenomenon applies to our adult lives too.

It's a simple theory, but one that can work wonders.

Whenever we are distressed or going through pain in life, instead of withdrawing into a shell and constantly rewinding, revisiting and repeating everything that has happened, what if we deliberately did something in contrast to what we were feeling? Something that could shift our attention away from the pain?

Our general approach is to lament, repent, regret, get angry or feel frustrated. But do any of these emotions reduce the pain or resolve the cause of our suffering? More often than not, the answer is no. The situation remains unchanged, while we keep going over it in our minds, making ourselves relive the same emotions over and over again.

If we genuinely want to overcome it, perhaps the best way is to either let go, forget and move ahead, or, if that isn't immediately possible, find something else in life that brings a shift in thought and gives us a larger purpose.

Something that makes the pain, the suffering or the unfortunate event seem so minuscule in comparison that our focus gradually shifts from one to the other. The new experience should occupy enough space in our minds to push the painful one into the background. Slowly, the intensity begins to fade, until a point when it no longer occupies our thoughts or affects us the way it once did.

Consider the story of a woman whose husband, an Army officer, lost his life in an unfortunate accident while serving near the border. Rather than allowing grief to consume her, she chose to follow in his footsteps. She joined the Indian Army herself, turning her personal loss into a larger purpose and finding a way to honour his legacy through service to the nation.

We often hear people say, "Divert your mind. Go for a walk. Talk to friends. Take up an activity. Do mandala art."

If you think about it, all these methods follow the same principle. They are simply ways of drawing a bigger line alongside a smaller one, making the smaller line appear insignificant in comparison.

There is one more approach I find interesting.

When you are in pain, deliberately push yourself to do things that may seem contrary to what you are feeling. Even if you are deeply hurt, get up, get ready and step out. Wear your best dress, put up some good perfume ,wear a smile and just go. Do things that serve a larger purpose. Engage in activities that bring you joy, meet people, pursue something you have been postponing, or simply do something that makes you feel alive.

You don't necessarily have to pretend that you aren't bothered. You may be hurting, and that's perfectly alright. But don't let that pain dictate everything you do or take away your ability to experience the other beautiful things life has to offer.

Sometimes, the best way to overcome a painful experience is not to fight it constantly,accept it and then consciously create experiences that are bigger than the pain itself.

Because sometimes, healing is not about making the pain disappear. It is about giving your mind, heart and life something more meaningful to focus on.